Fossilized Woman

Who is she?

This woman within,

who I keep fossilized,

buried under years of dirt

in the sand that packs my soul.

How could I let her become forgotten?

Exploited, abandoned in man’s endless conquest.

When did the rest of my being grow so dry?

I once was a lush and untamed garden,

home to pearly, ancient statues

covered in fresh, creeping ivy.

Old enveloped in the new,

revering both history

and life’s potential,

deliberately.

I was intentional

until they

were not intentional

with me.

Half

Half of me stares, unfocused, at nothing in particular. I, her, we dissociate. Pleasantly warm, feeling nothing emotionally. Mentally, I remain in neutral. How good it feels to be nothing at all! Half of me flips rapidly through a rolodex of stories, half-baked daydreams. If only I could catch

Ache

And when I see you my heart crumbles to dust. For as lovely and healing as I am, you are as fearful and wounded. I am sad for you-- how painful must this be! I am sad for me, but I know that while I am deserving of love, this

I didn't go

I didn’t go to the party for this moment. I stayed home to sit by the window-- cat on my lap, writing by candlelight-- so that when the sky opened up, I would be there with the window open, to let the warm petrichor waft through. I skipped to

Willow

I am a willow tree in your family’s yard, my sighing boughs dancing with the wind. I supported your tire swing, watched you laugh and feel free, celebrated with you in your peaceful moments. I hid you from the outside world, when you wept beneath my branches, seeking solace

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Half

Ache

I didn't go

Willow